"I Was Nice, and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt!"
Sometimes you're nice to someone and they respond back with ignorance, meanness, indifference, boredom, or no response whatsoever. You may say hello to total strangers and they look at you as though you're an axe murderer.
Being nice to people is not necessarily about the other person. You can be nice for selfish reasons- selfish in a good way. You can be nice out of your own self-interest.
When you're mean and you attack other people with your words, actions, or thoughts on a continual basis, there's a very good chance that you also "attack" yourself. A self-attack can have many faces, including addictions, eating disorders, disease, and negative self-talk like the following:
I'm so clumsy. I'm so fat. I'm so stupid.
I'm a bad person. I'll never amount to much.
When you choose to be nice to others, you begin to respect yourself, be nice to yourself, and show love to yourself to the same degree. Other people are your home-play assignments to improve your own self-worth and self-love.
Be Nice (Or Else!) Pg- 23
I picked this story because I cant tell you how often I see this happen. People going out of their way to be nice and in return they get shot down with no niceness in return. At school we carry around a lot, and I mean A LOT of stuff. One day at school one of my friends accidently ran into another girl with her big case full of all our stuff- she quickly replied with a sincere apology and in return received no reply back and only a dirty look. Also, today while my roommate Caitlin was driving home, a car with cute boys in it honked at her, she smiled and waved and kept on driving only to hear another honk to which she looked up as the boys gave her "the finger".
For me in both situations my first reaction would automatically have been to be rude right back. But what would that have done? Nothing. It would only make myself look just as mean. So instead of stooping down to their level, we might as well just keep being nice and ignore their responses all together. And i'll be honest and say that there has been times where I have said things about others just to make myself feel better about myself, but in the end it just always makes me feel worse and doesn't make the situation any better. Being mean does nothing good for you, and in the end it will only make you feel worse about yourself. Just like Winn says, attacking others leads to attacking yourself.
I decided because my blog is pretty boring and nooooo one ever comments on it, I thought that maybe I would add a fun and meaningful purpose to it, so besides all the things Im doing in my life I will also be posting every Wednesday about being NICE.
When I started school back in August we received a book called "Be Nice (Or Else!)" Its written by Winn Claybaugh- founder and co-owner of Paul Mitchell The School, aka my hero. This book is all about the importance of being nice and how being nice can make you and those around you genuinely happy. I have been obsessed with this book from the very first page I read. Winn shares countless experiences and stories about being nice and how by making that change to be a nicer person can change your whole outlook on life and leave a lasting impression.
Every Wednesday ill be posting some of my favorite experiences, stories, quotes or parts from the book- and hopefully as I challenge myself to be nicer, ill soon have some of my own to share. I hope that by adding Be Nice Wednesdays to my blog will not only get me more comments.. but inspire others to also take a stand and make that change to Be Nice, because I promise it will not only make you happier and make a difference in your life like it has mine but it will also make others happy.
A Person Who's Nice to You but Mean to a Waitress Is Not a Nice Person:
As humor writer Dave Barry wrote in his book Dave Barry Turns 50, "A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person." As you consider this "being nice" thing, Im sure you'd agree that being nice could definitely give a person the upper hand. However, there are some people who know who to be nice to in order to get what they want but forgo the practice in the other situations. Being nice is about inclusiveness, not exclusiveness. You cant pick and choose to whom you are nice.
Have you ever had this experience? You meet someone new who you think is a really nice person. He or she may even display the charm and niceness for months. Then one night the two of you are out to dinner, in the middle of a lovely conversation, when the waitress makes a mistake and your date lets her have it. Suddenly, the nice guy you thought was the Gandhi of "take home to Mom" boyfriends become the Freddy Krueger date-from-hell. Or the Mother Teresa " this could be the one" girlfriend changes into Mommy Dearest nightmare. What used to be beautiful, endearing, and cute about the person suddenly becomes ugly, embarrassing and done.
You see this all the time, don't you? It even comes up on television, where it may be slightly exaggerated but not far from the truth. In an episode of the TV show Friends, Rachel was dating a guy she believed to be a really nice person. While on a double date with her friend Ross, Rachel slipped out to the ladies room with Ross's date, and Ross witnessed Rachel's date screaming and belittling two people for sitting in the wrong theater seats. The rest of the episode had Ross trying to entrap Rachel's new boyfriend into losing his cool and displaying that mean, nasty side of him.
Be Nice (Or Else!) Pg:2-3
For school all we can wear is black. Black tops, and black bottoms. At first I was kinda bummed when I heard that for the next 15 months all I could wear was black, but let me tell you that my views on that have changed drastically. I love BLACK. I wake up everyday and I don't have to worry about what Im going to wear and just throw on something black. My obsession with black has gotten so bad, that even when I don't have school and don't have to wear black... I still prefer and choose to wear black.