i have a little problem..

its called
i am obsessed with buying magazines
i walk past a stand & i just cannot say no
went last night with B to get a phone charger
i left with two magazines
went out again today to buy a new book
left with another magazine in my hand

like i said
its a problem

"but above all, watch, with glittering eyes the whole world around you, because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places"

roald dahl

"fear is the path to the dark side. fear leads to anger. anger leads to hate. hate leads to suffering."

its true
i am a star wars fan
judge me if you want
i've been having a star wars marathon

may the force be with you


soooo practically everyone knows i have allergies
peanuts. potatoes. soy. some fruits&veggies. & latex
you name it
im allergic
i carry around an epipen:
epinephrine injection
used for emergency treatments for severe allergic reactions

this is how it works:
pull off safety cap

push in leg
& hold for 10 seconds

dispose of used epipen properly

& call 911 :)

sometimes i forget to carry my epipen with me
(shhh.. dont tell my mom)
but just the other day i switched purses and thought to myself
do i really need this?
i left it home
then the next day i saw it sitting on my dresser
haunting me
so i grabbed it fast and went to school

it was the chirstmas party
which meant lots & lots of treats that i couldn't eat

i was in lena's office getting my last few signatures when a cute girl walked in
she was on the verge of tears
and she was asking for benadryl
which i usually have- but this one time
i didn't
she was having an allergic reaction
she too is allergic to nuts

before she left to see if anyone else had any
i told her if it got worse i had an epipen

10 minutes later she came back and asked if she could use my epipen
her voice was scratchy and she coughed a few times
bad bad sign
i got a little nervous for her
i grabbed it fast and handed it to her
but then thought if the tables were turned i would want someone else to do it for me
i asked her if she wanted me to do it
she did indeed

we went back to lena's office and i gave her the shot
i was being brave and pretended i wasn't scared to give it to her
but inside i was freeeaaakkiingg out
(have you seen the size of those things?)

all in all she ended up being okay
but this was a lesson learned for me
- to ALWAYS carry my epipen with me

because even though i am really careful with my allergies and i can control what i eat
you cant really control what others eat
or what cross contamination could effect you
if people don't have allergies
they just don't seem to get how severe they can be
even if you tell them a million times not to eat those peanut m&m's around you
they still do
or they walk away for 2 seconds
pop it in their mouth and then come back and think its okay
trust me
its not
i have reactions alllll the time
but luckily none that have been too horrible

i don't blame people for not getting it
because trust me if i didn't have allergies
i too would have a little b-fit if i couldn't eat my perfectly packaged peanuts on the airplane
because "someone" had an allergy

my allergies are embarrassing
and a struggle for me each & everyday
there is nothing worse than having to walk out of class because you are having a reaction to the pb&j being eaten across the room
or going to weddings starving and then you realize you cant eat anything
or not being able to go to dinner with friends because you can't eat there
or watching your whole family on thanksgiving eat mashed potatoes while you get to eat corn with your gravy
or going on a date where they order a treat to share and then you have to explain you cant eat it- then they feel bad- & you feel stupid ( good times!)

i knooooww i shouldn't feel bad about telling people i have allergies
or get embarrassed
but i do
its definitely a trial for me
& im working on overcoming it

its a good thing that i have a great family and friends who don't mind sticking up for me when i feel to shy to stick up for myself
or that don't mind not eating things im allergic to around me even if its their favorite
my poor family & friends have had to make many sacrifices for me
but i reeealllly appreciate them

i should love my allergies cause they make me unique right?


if you don't know this about me already
i absolutely love to read
i seriously have a fascination with books
i looooveee them
i am always reading a new book
my library card is my best friend
"having fun isn't hard
when you've got a library card"
[if you know where that's from
god bless you.. i like you even more than i did before]

one day i will have a library in my home
a very large one with a million shelves
filled with all my favorite books
a library so big
you will have to use those fancy ladders
that slides around to be able to reach them all
wouldn't that be a dream come true

check out my latest read over there >>>>>>>>


what inspires you?

i love paul mitchell
i honestly think it is the most amazing school out there
choosing to go there was the best decision i have ever made
& i am going to miss everything about it
they not only teach you how to be successful in the industry
but how to be successful in all aspects life
they inspire you to be better as a person
i love the people more than anything
they have been my family for the past year and a half
i have learned so much from every single person there
& they have all made such a lasting impact on my life
its seriously a bittersweet feeling
i couldn't stop crying the whole night
you wait what seems like forever to be done with your hours
then when it comes you are kinda sad
im leaving behind what has been such and amazing chapter in my life
but i know great adventures are coming my way
i love being a hairdresser & being in the beauty industry
when you have a passion for something it makes life so much more enjoyable

shout out to my "posse"
i love you all so much

Coldplay - Christmas Lights

i love this. & i love that piano.

i just did something
& i feel like an adventure is coming my way
is that the east coast i hear whispering my name?
stay tuned

what makes a person happy?

i have been pondering this question for the past week
you see people who you think should be happy-
they have everything (or so it seems)
but yet they are lacking in the being grateful department of life
& just aren't happy
i didn't get it
i know people fall down in life
& things happen that don't seem fair
we complain or hold a grudge
every single person is guilty of doing this
i know i am
we are all given different & unique trails in our lives to overcome
but that's just the key word- overcome
its about overcoming those obstacles & getting back up when we fall
being grateful for our life & everything that has happened
good or bad
its those experiences that make us who we are
we should take those trials with open arms & run with them
show everyone else that you can do it
you can overcome it & you wont let it bring you down
being thankful for the things you do have & not what you don't
i haven't always thought this way-
but now i do

a while back my dad lost his job
my family's whole world was turned upside down
everything changed
i thought it was the most horrible thing that had ever happened to me
i was stupid
& i was ungrateful
it was extremely hard at first
it felt like everything we used to know was being taken away from us
i felt robbed
& i was angry
but as time went on- it got easier & easier
my family had a change of heart
& i had a change of heart
we grew closer as a family
spent more time together
had family home evening
read the scriptures together
prayed together
& somehow we made it through even better than before
somehow all our needs were met
all our worries seemed to go away
we were blessed- to say the least

i am so grateful to have had this experience
& even though my dad has finally found a new job
i know each and everyone of us has taken & learned so much this trial
it has made every single person in my family become a better person
a little more grateful
a little more kind
a little more loving
a little bit stronger
& a lot more appreciative for the blessings in our lives
we were happy before
but we are all happier now
its funny how that happens
going through something so hard- made us happier
im so proud of my younger siblings and the people they are growing up to be
but mostly im proud of my parents
for staying strong for all of us-
because we needed their example
for helping us know the true importance of life
& for helping us grow closer to the gospel

so while i was at church today still pondering the question
what makes a person happy?
i was thinking of the little things- lots of things that can make a person happy
but the real answer i was looking for sort of hit me as i looked down the bench at every single one of my family's faces
having the gospel in your life- is what makes a person happy
thats the answer i was looking for
it was the answer to my prayers
i honestly believe that a person cannot be truly happy without it in their life
without it i don't think my family would have come this far
we wouldn't have been as blessed

i am so thankful to my heavenly father
for everything he has given me
for my family & for the blessings we have
for being sealed in the temple for all time & eternity
for prayer- knowing that someone is always there to listen
for my trials
i am a better because of them
& for the atonement
the gospel strengthens my heart
& restores my soul
it brings me happiness & joy each & everyday

i changed as a person
& im happy to say that
im a little bit better than i was before
i am still learning & growing
but im proud of who i am
& where i am going in life

i am happy

"however mean your life is
meet it & live it
it looks poorest when you are richest
love your life- poor as it is"
-henry david thoreau